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Conflict Management: Solving Conflicts at Work

Definition, Explanation	Tips, Checklist
Articles

Definition, Explanation

A conflict can arise when interests, expectation that are incompatible clash. Or the other persons' opinion is not accepted, instead, one tries to force one's own will upon him/her. Teams that know how to constructively handle conflicts encourage new ideas and obtain results that cannot be achieved single-handedly. If solving a conflict is not successful, the situation escalates and ends in arguments. Trivialities and working conditions in a large office can nerve in such a way that they lead to stress and health problems. These constellations can often not be avoided, yet handling them can be learned. The consequent application of certain rules helps the constructive handling of such problems, If it if not possible to solve conflicts, calling in a mediator can possibly help to solve unbearable situations like mobbing.

The successful dealing with conflicts through conflict management is decisive for a good working atmosphere, employee motivation and utilization of available creativity, especially in companies.

Friedrich Glasl presents the phases of a conflict escalation in a nine-step model. He differentiates in

• Hardening: a certain amount of willingness to co-operate is present
• Debates: little consideration for the interests of others
• Provoking actions: an attempt to assert own objectives
• Coalitions: search for allies
• Loss of face: humiliation and defeats
• Threatening situations
• Limited hits of destruction
• Dismemberment
• Total (self-) destruction

Tips, Checklist

• Deal with conflicts and reflect conflict situations
• Consider which conditions boost conflicts for you and what helps you to handle them more calmly
• Address conflicts openly and at an early stage. Talk to the person concerned face-to-face
• Assume that the other person does not know what you find annoying or nerving about him/her
• Explain why something makes you angry or annoys you and speak about your emotions. Always talk in the first person ("I"-form)
• Get involved with the other person and try to understand him/her. Listen to his arguments and ask about his/her reasons
• Do not take surges of emotion of the other person like swearing angrily personally, but see this as a cleansing thunderstorm. The other person is letting off steam. Do not interrupt him/her. Make the most of the opportunity to objectively to bring about a clarification of the disagreement
• Stay calm and objective
• Show the other person respect
• What you should not do is:
  • Permanently ignore conflicts
  • Negate responsibility
  • Do the other person down, personally offend or provoke him/her
  • Laugh about him/her
  • Stubbornly assert one's own point of view
  • Ask who is guilty and discuss
  • Become loud
  • React with a counter-attack and become emotional
  • Call in third parties. Exception: a mediator
• Listen and jot down notes, in order to then go into detail
• Play with compliments. React to stroppy remarks with humour and wit or by consciously exaggerating. In doing so, you will reach surprise effects
• Laugh with each other about conflict situations or about external influences
• Look for things in common and make the other person your ally
• Get rid of the tension of a conflict situation using sentences like "I am sorry". Apologise if something has gone wrong and admit mistakes
• See conflicts as feedback and thank the other person for addressing his annoyance. In doing so, there is the chance to stop the causes at hand and strive for improvements
• Learn from conflicts: ask the other person what stimulates him/her and how he expects things to be, how finds the communication and how you can communicate with each other in the future
• Be ready to compromise
• Prevent your opposite from being exposed and losing his face
• You can ignore and aggressive remark or grumble
• Take a break or ask the other person to continue the conversation later if you are at your wit's end. Sleep over the situation. On the next day, the matter usually looks different
• So that working conditions in a team do not become the reasons for conflicts, ensure that
  • the amount of work is evenly distributed
  • responsibilities are clearly regulated
  • individual team employees are not under- or overloaded
• Not every conflict can be recognised. Yet, certain signs of a conflict show that a conflict is frothing up
  • The tone is not as hearty, but rather very formal
  • The topics concentrate on facts. Private conversation is dropped
  • The flow of information stagnates
  • Eye contact is avoided
  • Working together is reduced to a minimum
  • Overtones and pejorative, sarcastic remarks are mixed into subordinate clauses
  • Friction, rumours, intrigues increase
  • Only what is necessary is done
  • Many talks end in no results
  • Some team members retreat and make no more contributions
• In unsolvable and serious situations, fall back on a mediator. The prerequisite is, however, that the parties take part voluntarily and the talks remain secret. The mediator does not take up a position but moderates and coaches

Articles

• Twenty-Three Phrases to Help You Fight Right; The Happiness Project, August 05, 2009

Last update: 11/20/2009