Quick at Repartee: The Right Answers in Every Situation

Definition, Explanation

The term repartee originates from the sport of fencing where it denominates an answering blow or thrust.

In all-day use, the term names the ability to react on unexpected situations quickly and efficiently, in private as well as in working life. Such situations are, normally, conscious or unconscious attacks intending to disconcert, humiliate, bring into derision, abase or otherwise harm a person. If you are quick-witted enough, you can thwart such attempts and are not pushed into a weak or defensive position by the opponent, but rather make the attack miss the mark.

Unfair, low blow utterances of the attacker often leave one speechless or are answered by angry or explaining utterances. Only few are able, by a witty remark or a question, to neutralize the attack or even re-direct it towards the sender. Good ideas are mostly late.

The ability of quick repartee is partly inbred. Using certain techniques, though, the quickness can be learned. In the order of sciences, repartee is part of rhetoric. In working life, it is one of many useful soft skills.

One can distinguish repartee from other rhetoric techniques some of which are similar to it. What it is not, especially, is a kind of “combat rhetoric” that served the verbal forcing through of one’s interests. Rather, it supports good communicating by reacting to unforeseen situations quickly, relaxed and appropriate. In the best case it will be even witty and humorous. Repartee is about surprising the opponent. It is used for keeping up communication in moments in which a previous utterance is threatening to abort the talk. Good rhetoricians react quickly and master heckling during presentations, and insults or killer phrases in communication.

Tips, Checklist

Use your educational leave to train your repartee. On the web, you might find some courses. Evening schools offer courses regularly
Train your repartee every day by mentally simulating adequate reactions. What would you say if you were accosted on the street? Or someone treaded on your foot without apologizing? A colleague made fun of you in front of others? Rehearse such cases and the like innerly, and you will be better prepared
Do not be intimidated. Above all, do not be speechless but defend yourself
Do not be provoked by aggressive attacks. Do not explain yourself but use humour, irony, ask back and “backfire”
Do not take accusations, insults, killer phrases personal. Be aware that the opponent intends to strengthen his or her position with it, and weaken yours
Put away your inhibitions and be a little lippy
Do not try to please everybody
Train your repartee and use different techniques:
- Play with the situation and make fun of it
- Act dumb as if you had not understood the point
- Compare the matter to things that are actually not related to it
- Exaggerate
- Consent emphasizedly
Keep it authentic
React fast and pointedly. Take into account your knowledge of the person and possible preceding event
Gauge the sort and the strength of your repartee. A tense situation might escalate by heavy counter reaction. Perhaps it is better to leave it out totally
Caution: repartee does not suit every person and every situation. Also it involves the danger of raising a conflict out of a silly, imprudent sentence. In such crucial cases, you better ask back a related question like ”why are you attacking me?” “why are you insulting me?” “Did I insult you, or why are you affronting me like this?” or just slur over it even friendlier than you acted before

Last update: 08/24/2010

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